To satisfy yourself, and to fully express yourself
when you have difficulty in communications
usually in important relationships
try the following sequence of four steps
Set the stage without judgments
that the other person may not accept,
using "I notice", I believe" or "I heard" ...
rather than an accusative "you ...
Express your feelings, "I feel ..."
for example: happy, sad, angry, anxious, afraid, or delighted
admitting your vulnerability
and how important it is to you.
Say what you think
with your main issues or key problems
as the focal point
"I thought that..."
Say what you would like
"I want ... or "I would like ..."
being careful to leave room for the other person to say no
or something else.
The rest of communicating is the art of attentive listening
occasionally summarizing what you heard
as feedback, for accuracy
and to make sure you are not unduly reacting.
Back to Right Speech
This is taken from Wes Isberg's
Basic Buddhist guidelines are listed in my Buddhism in a Nutshell
Back to Poems,Mind and Meditation
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