Self Expression

To satisfy yourself, and to fully express yourself
when you have difficulty in communicating,
usually in important relationships,
try the following sequence of four steps.

Set the stage without judgments
that the other person may not accept;
rather than an accusative "you ...
use "I notice", I believe" or "I heard" ...

Express your feelings, "I feel ..." for example:
happy, sad, angry, anxious, afraid, or delighted,
admitting your vulnerability
and how important it is to you.

Say what you think
with your main issues or key problems
as the focal point,
"I thought that..."

Say what you would like
"I want ... or "I would like ..."
being careful to leave room for the other person to say no
or something else.

The rest of communicating is the art of attentive listening
occasionally summarizing what you heard
as feedback, for accuracy
and to make sure you are not unduly reacting.

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